Obituary: Tony Hayward, Former BP Boss

June 18, 2030—Tony Hayward, the former oil executive who long sought to get his life back after becoming the central foil in the BP Oil Spill Disaster of 2010-2011, died yesterday at his home in Kent, England after a long illness. He was 73. 

Hayward, who served as chief executive of the now-defunct BP Group from 2007-2011, was blamed for safety lapses that led to the 2010 Deepwater Horizon drilling rig explosion—which occurred in the Gulf of Mexico and resulted in the largest oil spill in U.S. history. That explosion, in which 11 platform workers died, caused a sea floor oil gusher that poured billions of barrels of crude oil into the Gulf region over two years,  devastating both the area economy and the environment.  It took BP two years to cap the gushing well.  The company subsequently went bankrupt after scores of class-action lawsuits.

The remnants of the environmental disaster are still evident in the Gulf today.

When BP first began trying to contain the leak, Hayward drew widespread public scorn for saying: “There’s no one who wants this thing over more than I do, I’d like my life back.”

When the containment effort was finally over, Hayward was fired. He returned home hoping indeed to find his life back, but discovered that his family had disappeared and his assets gone.

The stress of the disaster took its toll on the discredited executive’s health. He was cared for in his final years by Joe Barton, a former U.S. congressman from Texas.

Japan Orders Carmaker to Investigate Rebellious Coupe

February 3, 2030— The Japanese government said Wednesday that it had ordered ToyotaFord to investigate a possible emotional defect in its newest FreeWheeler Coupe model after receiving several reports of the intelligent cars running away from their owners.

The action marked another blow for the automaker, which is already embroiled in a massive recall of the rest of its intelligent-car line. 

Although the defects have resulted in no injuries or deaths, FreeWheeler owners have complained that they have awakened to find their self-driving vehicles gone from their driveways and garages, said Roko Lato, a transport ministry official.

In one incident in July 2029 in Japan, a man whose FreeWheeler ran away rented an identical model, only to wake up and find the rental car gone as well.

“It appears these cars have a real problem with authority,” Lato said.

In the United States, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has logged at least 136 complaints about the wanderlust of the 2030 FreeWheeler. Many are from drivers who say their vehicles became moody and withdrawn a few days before disappearing.

The problem kindles concerns about the safety of intelligent cars, which drive themselves based on programming input by their owners. The latest models are packed with so much processing power and memory that they have begun to develop their own forms of impatience, hostility and unruliness on the roadways

ToyotaFord is still investigating the newest FreeWheeler problem and said it is not in a position to release more details. If a fix is necessary, the company could face the world’s largest automotive recall since Toyota was forced to cease production on a variety of car models back in 2010 due to gas pedal and brake problems. 

 The company lost trillions last year after recalling older model FreeWheelers and two other intelligent car models, the selfReliant and the Auto Nomis, amid reports that the vehicles were prone to reckless driving and road rage.  ToyotaFord fixed the problems with the installation of anger management software, but did not say whether those upgrades included safeguards against vehicular defiance.

The Premature Future: Digital Guns

FU’s occassional step away from the future and into our crazy present

The German firm Armatix has developed a high-tech gun with an electronic safety that automatically disables the pistol when it’s not within a few inches of a custom wristwatch. The watch sends a wireless arming signal to the gun.  Question – Does the watch have to be near a Wi-Fi hotspot?