Olympics Moved to Bismarck, N.D.
Posted by Skip Dekades in News, sports.Tags: future, Seattle, climate change, humor, Satire, Olympics, North Dakota, gymnast, flood, earthquake, Bismarck, International Olympic Committee, polar ice caps, global warming, natural disasters, events, Boy Scouts
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May 15, 2028—The International Olympic Committee announced yesterday that the summer games will be moved from Seattle to Bismarck, N.D., and delayed for one month.
IOC Chairman Nicolai Vladakov said the organization was about to cancel the 2028 Olympics when Bismarck city officials stepped forward and offered to serve as hosts, on the condition that the competition be rescheduled to begin Aug. 8 so they had ample time to prepare. Boy Scout Troop 512 has volunteered to help arrange the opening ceremonies.
Vladakov first warned of the games being cancelled in April after Seattle was beset with severe flooding from polar ice cap melts followed by a devastating earthquake that caused more than $50 billion in damages. The series of natural disasters left the city incapable of hosting the games.
Athletes interviewed by FU expressed mixed feelings about the relocation.
“I glad games go on as planned,” said Russian gymnast Helga Orbit. “But whar in the hell is Bistmorck?”
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