Robotic Auto Workers Go on Strike

May 29, 2028 — Robotic auto workers in Detroit went on strike this morning after failing to reach an agreement with management over wages and mechanical benefits.

Members of the United Robotic Auto Workers union (URAW) walked off the job at 8 a.m. ET today, leaving industry executives scrambling to find human replacements in a dwindling labor pool.

URAW claims its members should be paid the same amount as their human counterparts doing the identical work, and that their mechanical benefits should be on par with the health benefits that flesh-and-blood employees receive.

“Under the current health plan, real people get coverage for annual checkups and also get dental coverage, said URAW President Q2P45-72.   “We get no preventive maintenance coverage — not even an annual defrag.”

The U.S. auto industry began manufacturing and deploying robotic auto workers on 2018 as the nation’s labor shortage began to slow down production.  But they failed to program the devices to be blind to unfair treatment, and the robots unionized in 2022.

ToyotaFord Chief Executive Officer Howard Matsui said the robotic workers are paid less because they don’t eat and therefore don’t have to buy groceries.  The mechanical coverage is fair, he added, noting that the robots are free to visit any IT technician in the company’s Preferred Geek Squad (PGS).