June 24, 2028 — A new survey finds most Americans don’t feel their personal sins are the only way to eternal damnation, suggesting that we are becoming more tolerant of each others’ paths to Hell.
The findings, revealed Tuesday in a survey of 40,000 adults, suggest that Americans increasingly view the violation of their religious tenets as unavoidable in an age where the definition of sin has expanded to include virtual infidelity, gasoline siphoning and exceeding water restrictions.
The Pew Forum’s U.S. Religious Landscape Survey also found that a majority of religious Americans believe many transgressions—not just those prohibited by their own faiths—can lead to an eternity in Hell: mainline Protestants (53 percent), members of historic black Protestant churches (59 percent), Roman Catholics (85 percent), Jews (72 percent), Muslims (90 percent), and Trekkies (76%). (Star Trek worship became an official religion in 2015.)
The Pew survey is conducted periodically, but this is the first time it has focused on new definitions of sin.
Actions considered as sinful across all groups include stealing, widening one’s carbon footprint and having premarital or extramarital sex with robots or virtual-reality avatars. (Trekkies say violating the Prime Directive is merely a violation of Starfleet protocol and not necessarily a sin.)
But survey respondents said they expect to be turned away at Heaven’s gate because they have to engage in these sins to survive. And about half of those polled say they believe it’s too late to atone for their wrongs because the end of the world is near.
“What most people are saying is, ‘Hey, life sucks and the only way to survive is by stealing gas, using more water than your permitted and getting sex from a cyborg because your spouse is too tired and depressed,’” said the Rev. Pete C. Mistic, a senior fellow at the Georgetown University School of the End of Days.
About 25 percent of the survey participants said they believe that they are already in Hell, pointing to global warming, nuclear proliferation, the emergence of drug-resistant viruses and the Spandau Ballet reunion tour as evidence.
