June 24, 2028 — Riots broke out in Salt Lake City yesterday as Mormon citizens fought to grab bottles of purified water being shipped in by relief groups in response to water contamination from the recent crap storms.
A throng of well-dressed, wholesome looking families punched and scratched each other in Temple Square as they struggled to get near water supply trucks sent by the American Drought Rescue League. Witnesses even reported some cursing among the thirsty rioters.
Salt Lake City was suffering its worst drought in eight years even before the human waste that fell to Earth from the International Space Station’s leaking sewage system contaminated limited local water sources in mid June. A liberal faction of the denomination has reportedly been smuggling in Coca-Cola and beer to help residents survive the water shortage.
. at 5:25 pm |
[...] “We don’t have a water problem now. The people who were for this made it sound like the sky is falling or something. It isn’t.” Tagged with: Desalinization, Environment, Great Salt Lake, [...]