July 25, 2028 — Amnesty International issued a report yesterday condemning the U.S. of Google for holding former Sen. Hillary Clinton in the same cell with conservative pundit Ann Coulter, saying the tactic represented cruel and unusual punishment for the former First Lady and Democratic presidential candidate.
“No one, not even someone who has done something as egregious as Mrs. Clinton did, should have to share a cell with Ms. Coulter,” the report states.
Mrs. Clinton, 80, has been in custody since June 16, when lunar troops toppled her military takeover of the country. Clinton troops had arrested Coulter and other conservatives, including Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, following the former senator’s June 5 military coup. Once Google had regained control of the country, the company decided to keep the conservative prisoners behind bars.
Amnesty International made no mention of the conservatives’ imprisonment, but argued that Mrs. Clinton should be provided with an alternative cellmate.
Meanwhile, the machohideen, a group of Republican celebrities originally formed to fight against the Clinton regime, says it will stage a military strike on the Google complex if the conservatives aren’t freed. But the group reiterated its intent to leave Coulter behind in the rescue mission.
“I know Ms. Coulter has suffered a great deal over the past few years, especially with the botched facelift she received,” said machohideen member Bruce Willis. ”But we need to leave her put away for the good of the party.
