Foes Link Jindal to Hinduism, Peace Mongering

July 15, 2028 — Since declaring his candidacy for president last week, U.S. Sen. Bobby Jindal has had to address assertions that he is Hindu and a follower of Mohandas Gandhi’s teachings.

Despite his denials, rumors have been circulating across virtual worlds and in email and video mail about Jindal’s religious ties.  Some accuse him of being a “peace-loving” plant in a conspiracy against American partisanship and that, if elected president, he would take the oath of office using a cow rather than the Bible.

The rumors echo the same type of innuendo that dogged the campaign of Barack Obama back in 2008.  Critics had accused Obama of having ties to Islam and assailed his affiliation with a controversial minister and with white people.

Jindal was born in 1971 in Baton Rouge, La. to Punjabi Indian immigrants. He was a Hindu during his childhood but converted to Catholicism in high school and has offered his religious testimony before Baptist and Pentecostal congregations.

Jindal has embraced numerous conservative causes, boasting a 100 percent pro-life voting record, garnering an A rating from Gun Owners of America, and supporting a constitutional amendment banning flag burning.

Jindal

But the machohideen, a small branch of the conservative movement, doubts Jindal’s conservative credentials, and is believed to be behind the Web-based rumor campaign. The group, formed last month to fight Hillary Clinton’s ultimately failed military takeover of the country, wants to have a stronger voice within the party.

Jindal aides sharply dispute the initial stories suggesting that he is a closet Hindu.

“Sen. Jindal is 100 percent Catholic and is allergic to cows,” said campaign press secretary M. Sue Greene.

But supporters will also have to address rumors that Jindal subscribes to the passive-resistance principles of Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“We don’t want a president who holds a sit-in everytime he has to confront a nuclear power, or has trouble getting legislation pushed through Congress,” said conservative pundit M.A. Wright Wenger.