July 22, 2028 — Singer-songwriter Bitch says she will stop touring and recording immediately to help partner Angelina Jolie run for president.
“I want to devote all of my attention and energies to getting Angelina into the White House,” Bitch said in a press statement. “If I was married to a man, and he ran for president, I would not feel the same way. I would not sacrifice my career just to help him with his egomaniacal folly. But Angelina will have 100 percent of my support.”
Bitch, who rose to prominence more than 20 years ago, was previously scheduled to do a 20-city coffeehouse tour beginning in August.
. at 12:34 am |
That picture leaves me with a queasy feeling in the Pitt of my stomach.
. at 1:52 pm |
I hear a rim shot on that one. Good pun.
. at 1:31 pm |
[...] wanted to name the baby after Angelina’s wife, the folk-rock singer Bitch, who I think will make a really narley First Lady, McGinty said. Soon-to-be First Lady [...]