by Skip DeKades
April 14, 2028 — Security and intelligence company Halliburton is investigating reports that North Korea sold light-bending technology to the terrorist group Bruhaha, raising concerns that members of the organization could smuggle invisible weapons of mass destruction into the United States.
Halliburton has prepared a 100-page report for the House Intelligence Committee, detailing the so-called invisibomb threat. A copy of the document was leaked to FU.
The report says Halliburton spy satellites caught pictures of a North Korean agent meeting in Cairo with a known Bruhaha member. The company, the government’s sole military, intelligence and home security contractor, also claims that North Korea purchased the technology last year from China.
“This raises the very real possibility that Bruhaha could launch a terrorist strike on U.S. soil by bringing in cloaked nuclear, chemical, biological or laser weapons, or the new “Peter Pan” bombs designed to take out people with peanut allergies.” the report states.
“In addition, the terrorists themselves could use the technology to create invisible clothing,” the report continues. “They then could cloak themselves, sneak up on unsuspecting women and slap or pinch their rear ends. These poor women could go crazy trying to figure out who is accosting them.”
Invisibility technology involves the use of metamaterials that can bend light from all angles, making them invisible to the human eye. The cloaking material could be used to encase bombs or gun cases, or for such clothing as ski masks, sun glasses, paramilitary garments and army boots.
Chinese government scientists developed the cloaking technology earlier this decade over the protests of the White House and the United Nations. Former President Oprah Winfrey said the invisibility capability would give China an unfair military advantage and could allow Chinese people to sneak into the U.S. illegally.
Chinese Premier Lee-Ching Hong countered that it served the U.S. right, since Americans have historically treated Chinese immigrants as invisible.
“In your country, you just expect us to smile and happily run drycleaning stores and dim sum restaurants,” he told Winfrey. “But you never let Asians become superstars. The blacks get Jaden Smith. The Hispanics get Selena Gomez. But no one for us. We resent that. So we’re just playing into the role you’ve given us.”
We’re trying to be less invisible at Humor-Blogs.com.
