August 18, 2028 — At the same time they were making a name for themselves as makeover magicians, reality TV hosts such as Ty Pennington and Carson Kressley were being forced to work as spies for the U.S. government, according to a new book out Tuesday.
Kressley was forced to spy for U.S. government
“Patriot Acts,” a 900-page tome by celebrated investigative journalist Mark Ray Curr, details a picture of a vast espionage network of reality TV stars and their producers, set up by the second Bush administration in the 00s.
The book, which takes its title from a landmark piece of legislation passed in the weeks after 9-11, claims the reality-show operation was part of then Vice President Dick Cheney’s dream to have a window into every home in the country to uncover terrorist plots.
“The Bush II White House had no idea where to find Al-Qaeda cells on U.S. soil, so the only solution was to tap into every living room in America to make sure nothing was missed,” Curr writes.
The reality-show operation mainly involved celebrity self-help gurus who entered homes to help people with everything from fixing up their living rooms to controlling their children. The White House blackmailed the hosts into planting electronic surveillance devices in those dwellings by threatening to have the Federal Communications Commission trump up indecency charges against their shows if they refused to cooperate, according to the book.
Pennington hosted Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on the old ABC television network. On that program, he led a design team that transformed the homes of deserving families in seven days or less. Pennington and his team installed hidden cameras in the homes as they were being remodeled.
Kressley took similar steps on his show How to Look Good Naked, in which he helped women feel better about their bodies. Kressley allegedly provided the women with tummy-tuck underwear lined with listening devices disguised as sequins.
Curr names several other reality show hosts who were forced into helping the Bush administration, including
- Cesar Millan of The Dog Whisperer;
- Clive Pearse and Shane Tallent of Designed to Sell;
- Jo Frost of Supernanny;
- Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of What Not to Wear;
- the producers of Wife Swap; and
- Kressley’s four co-hosts on the early 00s program Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Curr’s book says the White House coerced a variety of other professionals into sneaking “bugs” into people’s homes. Cable installers, plumbers, furniture delivery crews and even Jehovah’s witnesses were coerced into the spy program, he writes, adding that the Jehovah’s witnesses proved to be the least effective because they were rarely invited into homes.
Many celebrities named in the book declined comment, but others welcomed the exposure of the operation they were forced to join.
“I think it’s terrific this came out,” said Supernanny’s Frost. “It’s about time somebody knew all those bloody brats I had to bribe to put bugs under their parent’s beds. The government blokes loved it ‘cause they got to listen to the mums and dads shaggin’.”
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