Breaking News
by Skip DeKades
August 27, 2028 — Philadelphia police are probing a possible assassination attempt on presidential candidate Angelina Jolie after three women were arrested near the Democratic National Convention with a phaser rifle.
The first person arrested was identified as Medusa M. Killen, 28, who was stopped for a minor traffic violation and found to be wanted on numerous warrants. Officers searched her car and found a semi-automatic vaporizer and special beam targeting software which was later found to have been programmed to home in on Jolie.
Killen led police to a nearby hotel, where a second woman, who police did not identify, tried to kick one of the officers between the legs. A third woman in the hotel room was also arrested.
The suspects told authorities they were going to disintegrate Jolie from a high vantage point during her acceptance speech Thursday night. The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee is scheduled to accept the nomination at Lincoln Financial Field before a crowd of 65,000.
Police say the women may have ties to the Semtecks Girls, a secretive organization set up in the 00s by pop superstar Madonna, who is running for president as an independent and is a long-time rival of Jolie . (The name of the group was originally Semtex Girls, but Madonna was forced to change the spelling after a Czech company that makes an explosive by the same name sued her for copyright infringement.)
“It could turn out that these were nothing but a bunch of wanna-be ‘Material Girls’,” a U.S. government official said about the women in custody. “We have no evidence yet that Madonna knows anything about this.”
A spokesperson for Madonna had no comment on the incident.
Multiple law enforcement agencies are investigating the plot, including the FBI and the joint terrorism task force. Convention organizers are considering having Jolie stay in hiding on Thursday and holostream herself onto the stage to deliver her acceptance speech. The candidate has already decided to holo-simulcast her speech to households across the world. Americans who own 3D-HDTVs will be able to see and hear Jolie’s speech as if she is right in the room with them.
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[...] FBI spokesman Homer N. Vaider said the agency wants to know more about Madonna’s ties to three women who were arrested Wednesday near the Democratic National Convention at the Philadelphia … [...]