by Skip DeKades
October 1, 2028 — Madonna has dropped her bid to run as an independent in the November presidential election, citing boredom with the campaign process.
“I’ve decided to move onto something else,” the pop singer said in a statement. “I’ve already achieved huge success as a singer, a dancer, an actress, a director, an author of children’s books, a mother, a humanitarian, and a whore. I don’t need to be president.”
Madonna did not mention the fact that she has been unable to find anyone interested in serving as her running mate, and has failed to generate any campaign contributions. She has also been distracted by the investigation over the foiled assassination plot on Democratic presidential candidate Angelina Jolie. The FBI continues to label her as a person of interest in that investigation.
The 70-year-old celebrity says she will continue to find new venues for her multitude of talents.
“I might try my hand at being an astronaut or a neurosurgeon,” she said.
I must say I’m disappointed she dropped out. Her qualifications are so much better than that Bush we had years ago.
We’ll miss her wisdom and dance moves.
More votes for me
I will name Madonna as my Chief of “staff”