by Skip DeKades
October 23, 2028 — New Republican attack ads are using clips from some of Democratic presidential candidate Angelina Jolie’s old movies to raise doubts about her judgment.
The Webvision advertisements, designed by political marketing firm Smere, Kemp & Hanes, use segments from what most critics regard as Jolie’s worst films – some included in Top 10 lists of the worst movies ever made.
FU political analyst Ima Fullavit says the ads appear to be lifting Republican candidate Bobby Jindal’s standing in the polls. In the latest polling, Jindal leads Jolie and independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare by an 11-point margin.
Jolie in 2010 vampire role
The most indicting ad runs images of Jolie playing Olympias, the vengeful, snake-adorned mother of Alexander the Great in the biopic Alexander. The 2004 Movie, in which Jolie’s character plots the assassination of Alexander’s father Philip II in order to bring her son to power, is considered one of the most disastrous films ever produced.
“Angelina Jolie agreed to appear in this movie,” the voice-over says. “Do we want someone with this kind of poor judgment running our country?”
Other ads show Jolie playing a military officer in the box-office disaster Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; a bleach-blonde skank in Gone in 60 Seconds; and a vampire in the 2010 film Suck, which critics agree really did.
Jolie campaign manager Holly Wood dismissed the ads as irrelevant and sleazy.
“Ms. Jolie has had a distinguished career as an Oscar-winning actress, a diplomat and a humanitarian,” Wood said. “She is not a vampire.”
Photo courtesy of Celebrity Fury
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[...] Jolie is currently in London, where she is auctioning off two of her adopted children to benefit an organization that helps parents adopt children. She declined to comment on her new movie, saying only that she will be content to let the film stand on its own merits. [...]