Op-Ed
October 27, 2028 — FU is endorsing independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for president of the United States.
We feel Heare has the right priorities and will represent a better leader for our country than will Democrat Angelina Jolie or Republican Bobby Jindal. Heare’s policies make the most sense, and his campaign has really cool T-shirts, mugs and caps. And as far as we know, he will not embarrass the country by being a man-slut or an idiot, as past presidents have been over the past 30 years.
We acknowledge that his task as president will be difficult, given that he’ll have no allies in Congress. But we figure he’ll buy Congressional leaders off appropriately.
We are proud to join a prominent group of Heare backers that include Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton, Pee Wee Herman and Barney the dinosaur.
So, we encourage our readers, on election day (or right away by clicking this link), to vote “Ahmnodt Heare for President.”
