Angelina, Bitch Become Popular Girl Names

by Skip DeKades

November 11, 2028 – Amanda McGinty was so excited about Angelina Jolie’s victory in last Tuesday’s presidential election that she went into labor. Fifteen hours later, her child, Bitch McGinty, was born. 

“I wanted to name the baby after Angelina’s wife, the folk-rock singer Bitch, who I think will make a really narley First Lady, McGinty said.

Soon-to-be First Lady Bitch

In the last week, Angelina, Bitch, and Bitchalena have become the most popular names of newborn girls in hospitals across the country.

There have been other presidential naming trends in the past century, according to federal records. Franklin jumped to No. 33 in 1933, up from No. 147 in 1931. Dwight surged in the 1950s and Lyndon in the 1960s. Theodore hit its peak in the first decade of the 20th century. And Barack skyrocketed in the late 00s.

Other president’s failed to spark any naming trends. The name George, which used to evoke memories of the nation’s first president, is now considered a tainted moniker following the presidencies of three George Bushes. And former President Oprah Winfrey issued an executive order declaring herself as the only person allowed to bear that first name.

Elementary schools everywhere are now preparing to have classrooms full of little Bitches in a few years.

Humor-Blogs.com  is truly bitchin’.