July 10, 2029—Consumer spending soared in June as Americans, apparently determined to spend their last months on Earth in a hedonistic frenzy, sprung for restaurants, alcohol, lavish vacations and expensive jewelry, according to new government statistics.
The 40 percent gain in purchases was the biggest jump in six months, the Commerce Department said today. The fact that the world is coming to an end is offsetting the impact that the housing slump would otherwise have on consumer confidence, said Commerce Secretary Mark Etwatcher
“Housing values are literally down to almost nothing, since the planet will soon be wiped out by the asteroid heading our way,” Etwatcher said. “But people obviously are not really worried about their net worth these days, so they’re spending to their hearts’ content. There’s no question that impending doom is good for the economy.”
Federal officials said most of the spending is in the form of credit card purchases, suggesting that consumers assume the planet will be destroyed before they have to pay off big balances.
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This is President Obama’s newest stimulus package,,end the world to spur the economy…he truly is superman..