July 9, 2029—A new unauthorized biography of legendary baseball slugger Manny Ramirez reveals that he stopped being himself for a few hours during the latter part of his major league career.
In the Shadow of the Green Monster, a tome written by acclaimed sports writer Tommy Scornraiser, draws its title from a 2004 Boston Red Sox game in which Ramirez, a native Dominican who had just become a U.S. citizen, planted an American flag near the green left-field wall of Fenway Park.
Ramirez in 2009
Ramirez was often assailed for being a lazy, self-indulgent prima donna—traits that his supporters always defended as “Manny just being Manny.” But on May 9, 2010, Ramirez spent an afternoon being humble, focused and selfless, according to the book. The event occurred during Ramirez’ last season with the Los Angeles Dodgers.
“It was fleeting, and unexplainable, but the fact is that for about four hours, during a game against the [Florida] Marlins, Manny stopped being Manny,” Scornraiser states in the book.
“It helped that he didn’t have much to be smug or boastful about during that game,” Scornraiser writes. “He was hitless in four at-bats, and the Marlins won the game 10-2.”
Ramirez, 57, played in the MLB from 1993 until his retirement in 2012. He hit 541 career homes runs (most of them before his 2009 50-game suspension for violating Major League Baseball’s policy on performance-enhancing drug use) and holds the MLB record for grand slams (25). He now promotes a line of condoms under the brand name “ManRam Raincoats.”
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Say it aint’ so! My daughter will be totally crushed to learn this. I better keep her shielded from that book’s existence. Big Momma goes into action to protect young.