House Bill Requires Insurers to Cover Profanity for Pain

July 14, 2029—The House yesterday passed a bill that will require all health insurance companies to cover profanity treatments for chronic pain.

The legislation, sponsored by U.S. Rep. Ty LaNalle (D-Neb.), would also include cursing therapy coverage in government-funded health insurance programs such as Medicare and Medicaid.

Under the bill, insurance companies must cover all treatments designed to help patients manage pain by swearing. The therapies are designed for pain sufferers who were brought up to abstain from cursing, or who want to avoid swearing in front of their children.

“This will ensure that every American can get to a pain management center or other quiet place, away from home, to learn how to really let loose with expletives, without making a spectacle of themselves in front of their families or in public,” LaNalle said.

Cursing treatments arose in the first decade of the century after researchers found that profanity helped people better tolerate pain. Many medical institutions set up pain management centers with special sound-proof cursing rooms, allowing patients to swear in private. 

Although LaNalle’s bill passed easily in the House, the Senate version is expected to face a tougher reception. Senators from Bible-belt states have voice opposition to the legislation—and to cursing treatments in general. Supporters are hoping to win their votes by amending the bill to cover only treatments that involve secular curse words, such as sh___ and the F___ word.

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