SPECIAL FU INVESTIGATION
October 26, 2029—NASA concocted the story about an asteroid headed on a collision course with Earth as part of a complex conspiracy aimed at enriching its top officials, FU has learned.
In addition, scientists and executives at the space agency concocted a story about aliens heading into our solar system, and possessing the capability to destroy the asteroid, as part of the scheme, according to terabytes of data leaked to this reporter by an anonymous source.
The records indicate that NASA made up the story about the asteroid in January, when it was a private corporation, in order to win lucrative government contracts that would help the company avoid bankruptcy. The scheme appeared to be backfiring in late February when President Angelia Jolie ordered the government to take over the financially troubled company.
At that point, the conspiracy spiraled out of control. When many NASA officials left the space agency to work for defense contractor LockMartin Corp., NASA Administrator (and former chief executive officer) Cy Phiphan steered lucrative space-barge construction contracts to the company, with the understanding that LockMartin would pay secret kickbacks to him and other top agency officials. Under pressure from Congress, Phiphan subsequently cancelled those contracts because of cost overruns and mismanagement.
At that point, NASA bribed top astrobiologists at the SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) Institute to claim that they had made interstellar contact with the aliens who were entering our solar system and had the technology to destroy the asteroid and save the Earth. The space agency’s leaders then directed new no-bid contracts to LockMartin to develop special interspecies translators, claiming the devices were needed to help government officials communicate and negotiate with the aliens.
The data files indicate that the conspiracy trickles all the way down the lowest ranks of NASA, and also involves top officials at the Pentagon. The documents do not provide evidence that President Angelina Jolie or Defense Secretary Maureen Corr knew about the conspiracy.
The asteroid scare has cost the world trillions of dollars, sent U.S. housing values tumbling below $0 and led to severe overcrowding on the Moon, where many people have fled to avoid the apocalypse. It also has led to the cancellation of the Super Bowl, the 2030 Winter Olympics and the theatrical release of Seinfeld: The Movie.
Trillions of dollars have been spent on space barges designed to transport people off the planet, and the Jolie administration has been pressing Congress for more funds to accelerate terra-forming initiatives on Mars so that Earth refugees could live there. And the news of the aliens has led to sweeping public concerns about a new wave of illegal immigration.
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