November 23, 2029—Millions of Americans are expected to remain stranded on the Moon during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, as the spaceline industry struggles with overbooked flights and long lines at the space elevator.
Demand for space trips back to Earth have quadrupled over the last three weeks in the wake of news that the supposed asteroid threat to the planet was all a hoax. U.S. Spaceways, for example, says it has more than 80,000 customers on standby lists. And the skyrocketing demand has led to exorbitant fares that are leaving many refugees unable to afford a trip home.
“The fare structure is nuts,” said Emma Stucke, who fled her home in Arlington, Va., in August and has been living in a refugee camp near the city of Craterburg. “A one-way ticket back to Earth costs $35,000. A round-trip ticket costs half of that. But why the hell would I want a round-trip ticket?”
The spacelines are hiking fares despite the fact that 10 state attorneys general are investigating claims that the companies engaged in price gouging during the massive and ultimately unnecessary exodus from Earth earlier this year.
“We truly believe the spacelines tried to take advantage of asteroid crisis before it was exposed as a hoax,” said Florida Attorney General Sonny Day. “Now they appear to be pulling the same tricks to exploit everyone’s eagerness to return home in time for turkey, pumpkin pie and Black Friday deals.
Meanwhile, the space elevator has been operating at double capacity for the past two weeks and has broken down twice. Moon refugees have already formed long lines to buy tickets for travel home in time for Christmas.
FU transportation analyst Otto Buss said the travel crisis on the Moon is actually good news for people still on Earth. Since more than half of the population is stuck off-planet, traffic on U.S. highways should be significantly reduced over the holiday weekend.
Nice Future Update!