Future Update

July 1, 2028 — An Alabama woman has made history by conceiving the world’s first “designer baby” guaranteed to be free of the gene linked to homosexuality.

Using a controversial screening technique called pre-implantation diagnosis (PGD), doctors rejected five embryos which tested positive for the so-called gay gene in favor of two others that lack the gene, ensuring the child would be heterosexual.

The 47-year-old mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, is now 16 weeks pregnant with her first child after being implanted with two of the cleared embryos.

According to doctors, the woman does not wish to have a gay son or daughter. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” said Dr. Tim Thorne, one of the researchers who performed the procedure.  ”But she just prefers traditional gender-specific behaviors in her offspring.”

The woman chose to go through the procedure because her husband had tested positive for the gay gene and had a tendency to dress fashionably and download show tunes from the online music stores. 

The “designer baby” practice emerged 20 years ago when a British woman conceived the first child guaranteed to be free from hereditary breast cancer.  Critics claim the practice is unethical because it means viable embryos are destroyed.  There are also fears that prenatal engineering of sexual orientation could eventually wipe out the gay population, destroying such institutions as men’s figure skating, the LPGA tour, Las Vegas drag shows, and Bravo.

Historical source:  Joanna Corrigan, Telegraph Media

June 23, 2028 — With a rising number of children now entering puberty before the age of two, school districts are developing new sex education curriculum for pre-schoolers.

New York City-based publishing house Kiddie Texts, Inc., for example, has developed two books – one for girls and the other for boys – that teachers can read aloud in class.  The teachers are advised to read “The Bumps in My Blousie” to girls, while boys are taken to a separate room to hear the story “Harry, the Happy Pubic Hair.”

School districts in Massachusetts, Vermont, Oregon and northern California are now using the books in pre-kindergarten classes, without much community protest.  But other districts have had to cancel plans to buy the books after parents objected.

“My daughter doesn’t need to know anything about breasts at her age,” said Sally Upright, whose three-year-old daughter Brittany attends the Ginger Bread Pre-school in Metarie, Louisiana.  “I’m feel fine just telling her she has big mosquito bites on her chest until she’s old enough to learn about naughty parts.”

Endocrinologists have documented a rise in the number of toddlers with precocious sexual development.  About 27 percent of girls and 20 percent boys are in full puberty by the time they reach kindergarten, according a 2026 study published in The Journal of Early Childhood Protuberances.

Until recently, doctors didn’t expect to see children showing signs of puberty until at least age 7. Nobody knows what’s causing the earlier onset, although experts have long suspected high-fat diets.  But some scientists are blaming the phenomenon on everything from genetically modified foods to a chemical being used in the new biodegradable pacifiers.