July 27, 2028 — The Supreme Court today struck down Massachusetts’ ban on ray gun possession, ruling that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual’s right to disintegrate another in self defense.
The court’s landmark 5 to 4 decision split along ideological grounds and was the most significant defense of the Second Amendment since the justices struck down the District of Columbia’s ban on handguns 20 years ago.
“We hold that the states’s ban on ray gun possession in the home violates the Second Amendment right to bear any kind of arms, whether that be a simple handgun or an anti-matter pistol,” Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. wrote. He was joined by Chief Justice John G. Roberts and Justices Clarence Thomas, Mitt Romney and Judy Sheindlin.
In a dissent, Justice Calista Flockhart said the decision “threatens to throw into doubt the constitutionality of ray gun laws throughout the United States,” and said countless Americans could end up being obliterated in ray gun violence.
Flockhart’s remarks marked the first dissenting opinion she has written since former President Oprah Winfrey appointed the former actress to the high court in 2023. Flockhart said her role on the 1990s television series Ally McBeal inspired her to pursue her law degree.
Flockhart was joined in her dissent by Justices John Edwards, Lance Ito and Marcia Clark.
At least 16 states have passed laws banning possession of ray guns since the weapons entered the market in 2021. Opponents of such laws say they deny the individual’s right to protect themselves from burglars, gangs and muggers. But supporters of the laws say they actually are used mainly on supervisors in the workplace – typically in cases where an employee wants his or her boss to disappear.