November 5, 2028 – Here are results from some key state-level proposals that came before voters yesterday:
Arizona: A proposed amendment defining life as beginning at the first consideration of intercourse was soundly defeated. If passed, the proposed Arizona law would have defined “personhood” as beginning the minute a woman considers procreating, a measure made capable by the latest brain-scanning technology that can highlight areas of the brain associated with maternal instincts or simple lust. Millions of Arizonans who voted against the measure are expected to have sex today.
California: A ballot initiative aimed at overturning a State Supreme Court ruling that allowed marriage between humans and robots remained undecided early today. Elections officials believe some androids – who do not have the right to vote – may have illegally cast ballots.
Wisconsin: Residents rejected a proposal to secede from the union and become an independent country, with cheese, beer and bratwurst as its primary exports. Although the measure at one point had huge support, voters ultimately grew concerned that secession would prevent the Green Bay Packers from remaining in the National Football League.