August 21, 2029—Photographs of a topless First Lady Bitch descending Air Force One have sparked a media frenzy. Some pundits are saying that Ms. Bitch, on her way to a family vacation in Miami’s South Beach, may have revealed too much skin. But at least half of Americans surveyed say they have no problem with a half-naked first lady.
FU style analyst Fay Scheunn says when she saw Bitch exposing her bare breasts, she knew it would spark considerable public interest.
“I thought the fact that she went topless was newsworthy because now, not only is she the nation’s first lesbian first lady, but also the first first lady to go half-naked on Air Force One,” Schuenn said.
Presidential spouses are no strangers to public scrutiny over fashion decisions. Nancy Reagan was oft criticized for her grandiose attire. Michelle Obama created a stir for frequently wearing sleeveless dresses at official events and sporting short shorts on Air Force One. But no First Lady has ever appeared without something covering her chest.
A new FU poll shows 50 percent of Americans were in favor of Bitch going topless in public. Of the remaining half who objected to her bearing her chest, 35 percent said they’d rather see President Angelina Jolie go topless instead.
Jolie has not been seen naked since 2012, when she and ex-husband Brad Pitt filmed their last movie together, Mr. and Mrs. Smith Go to Washington.